I wrapped my robe tighter around me and let my wet hair spill over the collar. My shower hadn't lasted long. I wanted to be finished before she woke up. I didn't bother to get dressed because I enjoyed climbing into my soft terry robe and feeling it against my skin as I dried. I could hear my Norah Jones CD being played from the other room so I walked quietly to my overstuffed chair and didn't make a sound as I sunk down into it.
She was standing in front of the large window. I loved those windows, floor to ceiling with the city below. She looked out across downtown. A gentle rain was falling and a light fog had crept in. The sun was making its way slowly up into the skyline trying to overcome the patchy gray that hovered over the skyscrapers. Some of its rays penetrated the low lying clouds and set a halo around her.
She was wearing a white tank top and light blue cotton panties that hugged her thighs comfortably. She still didn't notice I had joined her in the living room and I didn't mind another silent moment to admire her. I watched her trace her fingers over the droplets of water as the rain streamed slowly down the outside of the glass. Her auburn hair shining in the morning sun hung shoulder length. It was slightly disheveled from a satisfyingly sleepless night.
I didn't want to disturb her thoughts, wherever they were, but I couldn't stand not being near her any longer so I intentionally cleared my throat. She turned quickly. “Hi.” she said. “You startled me.”
I apologized sincerely. “Where were you?” I asked, gesturing toward the window. “Oh, out there.” she replied. “Soaring on a sunbeam.” She answered with a small laugh and smiled. She had a crooked smile and little dimples that forced me to smile along with her.
She walked slowly over to where I sat and leaned over to me. Her hair fell forward and brushed my cheek. She flashed another smile and followed through with a kiss that caused me to shiver, though I was warm since I had already dried from my shower. I pulled her down on me and she obliged my silent request by lowering herself fully into my lap. I leaned forward and put my arms around her. We continued to kiss and my mind was filled with memories of last night. She stopped kissing me to look in my eyes.
I was usually so confident but with her I felt vulnerable. She smiled again and followed the outline of my jaw with her soft fragile fingers. When she reached my neck she slid her hand inside the robe and continued to trace my collar bone until her small hand found my breasts. She spent a few moments there and I felt myself responding. I shifted slightly in the chair and she opened my robe pushing it behind me.
She let her mouth continue where her hands left off. My breathing changed to express the effect that she was having on me. She kissed her way down my stomach to my bellybutton and farther down. In one motion she spread my knees apart and let herself between them. I moved to allow her. At this point I could not say no even if I had wanted to, though I didn't want to. I closed my eyes and just let her have control. I heard my heart beat and felt my blood flow as she continued. She took her time.
Involuntarily my hands went to her shoulders and gripped tightly as I climaxed. I trembled and my strength was gone. I released her. I couldn't speak and she didn't expect me to. She brought herself back up to my face and kissed my cheek gently while pulling my robe closed. Then she sat in my lap once more and laid her head on my shoulder. We rested there for a while and I listened to her breathe and felt her body against mine.
I realized that I was holding my world in my arms and I felt vulnerable because for the first time, I had something worth losing. I was afraid this was a dream and I didn't want to wake up. I wondered if she knew what she did to me. I looked out the window to see the sun pushing the last of the morning gray from view. I stared out into the city selfishly imagining that we were the only ones here to enjoy this magnificent scene. I felt her move and she looked up at me. “Where are you?” She asked. I smiled and said, “Soaring on a sunbeam with you.” She nodded and then held me tightly. ✪
Photograph ©Leara Morris-Clark
I have a journey, destination unclear. My heart floats like the balloons I carry, to demonstrate something different, something worth celebrating. I see the path before me and I walk on determined to introduce myself to the world as a survivor. I smile at passersby and offer the child a balloon. We share a moment and I say, “Take care of you.” The giggle echoes in my mind and reminds me of the foundation from which I have grown and blossomed. ✪
Photograph © http://splicketypubgroup.com/
The caravan pulled over to take a lunch break and to stretch our legs. The commune was still a day’s drive. I would send mom a postcard before we arrived. She worried too much. I was 18 now and perfectly capable of making my own decisions. There was much more to life than rules and societal restrictions. I was determined to be free; to be myself, to love, to enjoy nature and to survive without the city’s oppressive ways. Smog and crowds and laws were claustrophobic. She would do well with a bit of fresh air and free love herself. ✪
Photograph © http://splicketypubgroup.com/